After what happened last night, it’s really really hard for me to continue with my work. My mind just refuse to think. The words just wont come, the ideas refuse to flow, my progress is hindered. I’m trapped in a situation which i have not much control over. Being the sole income-earner in a family trying to make ends meet really sucks. Drastic measures have to be taken, the first being to stop all credit card usage. In a way, it’s credit cards that enabled us to go on living in the first place.

There are a lot of repayments to be made each month and he’s not contributing in this department at all. In fact, he’s not contributing anything at all except more expenses for me to bear. Second, i now have to cancel all our insurance policies. Cannot meet up with the repayments anymore. Moreover, the policy is a shitty one to begin with. We’ll just buy another policy that caters bteer to my family’s needs. Let’s just hope i dont conk out before this change. You know, life is very very unpredictable.

I no longer know what he wants to do with his life. As a man, i believe one cannot be sitting home all day long. How long can money last when there’s none coming in. Though he may not like it when i bring the subject up, he has to know that sooner or later, our money will run out. Oh, i may be making some. Not much, enough to cover our daily expenditure. The thing is i dont see a future in that. The comfort level is just non-existent. Each day, i have to think if the money coming is enough to sustain us till the next credit card bill comes. And should the day arrive that i have to dig into my savings to help cover expenses, i tell you, we’re doomed.