A man returns home early from work to find his wife in bed with another man. After a lot of screaming and shouting at his wife he grabs the man by his penis and drags him outside. The man understandably is terrified and begging for mercy.
The husband drags the man into his shed and puts his penis in a vice, he tightens the vice so he cant move…..and picks up a saw…..
The man screams, ‘please dont tell me you are going to saw my willy off’ he cries.
…..’No’ says the husband, ‘You are when i burn down the shed………’

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says, “I think wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”

His second friend says, “I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under our bed and it wasn’t mine.”

Paddy says,”I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.”

Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.

“No, i’m serious. The other day i came home and found a jockey under our bed.”

The couple had been married for twenty years. It was a happy, wonderful marriage, except that his wife was very unfaithful. Husband finally got so tired of his infidelities, which made its promise to be ever further from the truth to him. One day he came home and found her in bed with a dwarf. He shouted, “My wife, my love, after all those promises, it is in bed with another man, a dwarf that!” He replied “My dear husband, the love of my life, I believe, not to see, not to understand? They are tapering off.

Chuck, a bestselling author of romantic fiction, had suspected for a while 'time that his wife Eva has been unfaithful, although he had no proof. One afternoon, while Chuck was working on his last bodice-ripper, Eva said that it intends to go to the movies and out for a couple of hours. As Eva went to the door, Chuck looked at his pensive, then resumed his work. Three hours later, Eva returned, took his coat and called off Chuck weather wanted a coffee. When she returned from the kitchen, Chuck asked to sit down, as he wanted to speak with her. “Eve,” he said, “I want a divorce”. You can understand how he knew? Think coffee and socks Well done tribunal 11 on the road On Eve `s way out, Chuck had noticed a race in its density. When she went to the kitchen for coffee, noted that the execution was on his right leg.