Cheated???
December 27th, 2007
I did something stupid. I tricked my fiance with another woman. What I hate for her to learn more about his own, and so if I say I did, which is really his evil. If someone cheated on you, you want to know or not?
I did something stupid. I tricked my fiance with another woman. What I hate for her to learn more about his own, and so if I say I did, which is really his evil. If someone cheated on you, you want to know or not?
28 Responses to “Cheated???”
December 28th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
tell her or your relationship is built on a lie
December 29th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
You have to tell her because if she finds out…then your ass is grass…at least if you tell her then there is a chance things will work out.
Think about this…if you already cheated on her now…why even get married…you’ll probably do it again.
January 2nd, 2008 at 12:49 am
I say that you owe her the truth…and hell yes I would want to know if my husband cheated on me…..
January 4th, 2008 at 10:14 am
i would want to know. I have been cheated on many times and could never figure out why. I finally found a man that is faithful and honest. Please do all women a favor and own up to your mistake. It wasn’t really a mistake though. You are obviously not ready to be engaged or in a serious relationship. The trust will never be the same.
January 7th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
You dirty little cheater!!!!! tell her off easy so she can find someone else.
January 9th, 2008 at 11:11 am
well if i cheated i wouldnt keep it to myself i would tell her. i have cheated before and i know how bad it feels it will eat you up and rather her find out now than after the wedding right than it would make it sooooo much worst tell her y u did it and ask for forgivness if she really loves you and you love her everything will be ok in the end.
January 11th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
You have to tell her, its a hurtful thing however she will handle it better if she hears it from you if she finds out from someone else its more unpleasant
January 13th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
my husband did cheat on me…with a married woman and it produced a kid……when did he tell me…a year after the kid was born! i think it’s in the way that you tell her that will matter…..if she finds out on her own, it will cause more harm…but if she finds out from you and you are very and truely sorry, she will know. offer to get some type of marriage therapy so it won’t happen again and that way she knows you are willing to work on the relationship you have with her.
January 14th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Well Greg, tell me one thing….do you think she would be hurt less if she found out without you telling her or if you told her yourself before she found out from someone else?
If it was me, I would prefer it to come from my fiance…and then we would have to work on a way forward from there (with or without each other).
Hope that helps.
S.
January 15th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Yes.
She has a right to know that the person she THINKS she can trust with her heart, her mind and her life isn’t trustworthy, or has some issues.
TELL HER IMMEDIATELY.
January 17th, 2008 at 7:16 am
i would want to know and id want my partner to tell me, not someone else, then we would be over.
January 18th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Well, my ex- fiancee cheated on me from what i understand quite a few times, and for some reason, i always had a gut feeling that something was wrong, i would confront him, and he would lie and deny it….typical. But i loved him and tried to forget about it and then finally i checked his phone and i found…other women who he met up with and so on. Come to find out he cheated on me 5 times with different women and i had to be the to find out. Either way it’s going to hurt her wether you tell her not, but not telling her and having her find out will devestate and humiliate her and will totally make her hate u, where as if you have a sit down and try to talk with her and be honest, if she is forgiving (within time) you both can try to salvage what you have left…good luck
January 18th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
I wouldn’t ever WANT to know that. But, I think I’d NEED to know it. You did a bad thing and you need to own up to it and if she can’t forgive you and you lose her, well, you lose her. Hopefully, no matter whether she’s still in the picture or not, you’ve learned not to do it again.
Lying about something that serious is just not right. She has the right to know about it and decide if she can move on from there. If you marry her and she figures it out five years down the road after she’s had your children, well, let’s just say you’re not being fair to her if you don’t tell her. She has a right to know.
And, if you tell her, be prepared to do whatever it takes to make her trust you again. She has a right to require you to do some pretty strange things so that she can regain the trust you destroyed. Be patient with her but remember if you’re seriously doing everything you can to prove yourself to her again, there are some boundaries and you do have to take care of yourself too.
Good luck….BE HONEST….
January 18th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
She desreves for you to be truthful with her.Even if it hurts.You cannot go into this with it based on a lie.
For yourself to.Tell her.
January 19th, 2008 at 10:22 am
You better tell her and make sure this other woman is out of the picture completely.
January 22nd, 2008 at 9:43 am
If you really love her, don’t tell her. You need to ask forgiveness from a higher power and become a better person. If you tell her, you’ll destroy her. Its not her wish for you to confess your soul so you’ll feel better. She didn’t ask for that.
If you are questioning you’ll be able to remain faithful, then you need to be honest with her and you about that and probably hold off on getting married.
January 25th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
The only reason you tell her is if you are positive she is going to find out and it would be horrible for her to find out this way. When you cheated you took on the risk of losing her. You need to question why you cheated and also if there is a possibility you will cheat again. If you feel you will have the tendency to cheat again then do not marry this girl as you are obviously not ready for a long term commitment such as marriage. But if you feel there is no way your girl will find out and you are sincerely sorry and know in your heart you will never cheat again, then I suggest you do not tell her as all this will do is bring unnecessary pain and heartache to her. Then you start making it up to her by being loyal and faithful from here on. I do hope it all works out.
January 25th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
My husband did this to me a few months before we got married.
He is not the cheating kind at all and before the other girl he had only ever slept with me.
We had been together 6 years when we got married. I was very young(21) but decided I could commit to him for the rest of my life because we had something special and unique.
I found out about the other woman just after I gave birth to my second child 5 years later. We had never been happier or more in love and to be completely honest it devastated me.
I decided to stay only because it had happened so long before I found out, and because I know that we have so much to lose now.
To leave would only be saving face as it’s the ‘correct’ thing to do when you have been cheated on.
The problem is it has destroyed us too. I know he would never do it now or ever again. I understand almost why it happened but i will never forgive him and everytime I think I am over it something comes up that reminds me and I feel like I have been kicked in the stomach. I feel my whole marriage and my childrens lives have been built on a lie and it kills us both trying to deal with this.
I know though, had he told me at the time it happened, I would have called the wedding off and left him.
To be honest I wish I had never found out. this hasn’t saved me from a marriage of constant let downs and cheating, it hasn’t made us stronger. It has just completely wrecked both our lives.
My Husband was not smug and pleased with himself about what he had done. In fact the day it happened he threw up because he felt so ahshamed.
I suppose what I am trying to say is that you do stand to lose her if you tell her now, but if you keep it secret it could come back to haunt you like my husband’s mistake did. Either way it will break her heart but you should of thought of that before you shagged someone else.
I hope she loves you enough, and you are genuinely sorry enough to save this and to NEVER cheat again but if you think this happened because you are not sure about getting married then end it now. In the future, if you have children, you may break more than just her heart
January 26th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
i would tell her. it would hurt her more if you never did. be honest and tell her how you felt about doing it and why. if you are sincere then she may give you a second chance.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:09 am
I would want to know- I f you go on and get married to her, your infidelity will haunt you for the rest of your marriage. Tell her, it’s really noble of you to admit that you did something “stupid” and contemplating whether or not to tell her… good luck!
January 31st, 2008 at 11:56 am
My husband cheated on me and he told me and it hurt but I was happy he told me the truth I think everyone deserves to know if they are cheated it is going to hurt but at least they are not finding abput by someone else. You are going to have to man up to the consequences though and you are going to have to understand that she might not forgive you for what you did and you are going to have to live with the fact that she is going to cut all the wedding of and she is going to leave but in this situation she did not fail you did.
January 31st, 2008 at 8:18 pm
The only reason you would tell her is to ease your own feeling of guilt - and so is therefore the cowardly option. Keep your mouth shut and suffer the guilt, or, even better, call off the wedding - engagement is when you are the “hottest and most excited” for each other but instead you cheated. You are marrying the wrong woman, my friend.
February 1st, 2008 at 10:58 pm
I would want to know… I prefer to deal with the truth and reality.
February 2nd, 2008 at 6:55 am
I would definately want to know. I found out my husband cheated on me a while back so I left him. I told him if he told me the truth about it we could work through it together. But he still chose to lie and keep his secrets inside so I knew I could never trust him again. Please Tell Her and if she truly loves you she will respect you and love you even more for being honest and owning up to your mistakes.
February 3rd, 2008 at 6:22 pm
yes you do need to tell her, also tell her with who and why you did it, and don’t wait too long because if you wait and she finds out there would be no trust in the relationship. And yes it is going to hurt her to know that you cheated on her, she might stay with you or leave you, it all depends. My husband cheated on me before we got married and I found out a month after we got married- it still hurts today and it has been over two years and I do not trust him so we do not have a good relationship. I wish that he would of told me and yes I would have left him. Good luck and no more cheating it is not worth it.
February 5th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Do you love your fiance?
If you do and want to be honest then you need to tell her the truth. If you don’t love your fiance then you should reconsider and separate now then having to do it later after marriage.
February 7th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
you should definitely tell her. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot. I have been cheated on various times and you know what it has made me a stronger person and I keep my guard up. This last episode happened when I was actually married. Still am but I went through hell. I prayed evey night for God to take my life because it was never going to be the same w/o him. Will she trust u? I am having a hard time trusting my husband because I feel like everything he does or says is a lie or something I want to hear. Yes, I love him but it’s still torture not knowing if he really slept with someone else or not. Got some pretty mind blowing emails from the BITCH which caused so much more mental. I don’t know how to take what my husband says for real because he also was behind the emails. He says that he knew nothing about them but yet they came from his email address. He and his family, now I know that he is a big boy and can love who he wants, but they knew what was going on and let it spin out of control. Some very personal things I told my brother-in-law were put in the emails from this girl, plus my husband gave him our dog, because he reminded him of me, plus he is very sick and my brother-in-law offered to take care of him but now he wont give him back to us!
So you choose, don’t tell her and maybe everything will be fine, don’t tell her and have her find out on her own, and she might be messed up for life.
February 10th, 2008 at 12:07 am
In all truthfullness, I really would not want to know about it; the pain it causes is much too deep and it can leave scars on any relationship. If it was a one-time stupid, idiotic act and would never be done again, then I’d rather have the cheater live with the guilt and not put all the pain on me; especially if I wasn’t married to him yet. Hope you have learned a huge lesson and will not disrespect her again, ever.